And this has a lot less to do with sex; it's about explaining your new state of mind now that you are a mom.
We all know about the physical challenges after childbirth that can damper your sex life. For starters, we wait at least six weeks. And then what? Have the amorous feelings magically returned?
You may have the same loving feelings for your husband, but your new mom brain can interfere with your libido.
Here's something you can share with your partner and tailor it into your own words.
Dear Hubby,
While I couldn't love you more watching you revel in your new role as a father and while I couldn't be more appreciative of your lovingness and support of me, I have to explain why I've got obstacles keeping me from getting my mojo back.
First off, secretly, I'm a little resentful towards you. While a new baby is a new challenge and tiring for you, too, it hasn't thrown every aspect of your life into turmoil. I'm wondering what to do with this post-baby body that I've been told will never be the same. I'm just hoping things still work like they used to . Your body hasn't changed. I'm worried about how motherhood will affect me at my job. Will I have to overcompensate to prove that being a parent hasn't affected my ability and commitment? Meanwhile, you're getting more jobs and sales now than you used to because people are like, "Hey! He's got a family to support now." This is all great for us as a family unit, but still, it's a little scary. And while we are on topic of money, I've lost money while on maternity leave. I only bring this up so you can see how things I used to value have all been compromised. It's not like I'm so resentful that I want you to feel the uncertainty that I'm going through. I just want you to understand that while you and now our baby are most important to me, this transformation has rattled my confidence.
Speaking of which, motherhood is beautiful and enlightening but I honestly don't know who I am now. This process is as much about rediscovering my sexy self but understanding how it will live alongside the new self that only cares about my daughter. Again, this is on me. I can figure it out. I just need your patience and understanding.
Finally, I'm dealing with that new mom part of my brain, which right now, takes up so much space trying to keep my daughter happy and healthy. My mom brain part hasn't quit figured out how to go to sleep so the other parts of me can relax. It is hard to get in the mood for physical pleasure and intimacy when I'm trying to remember all the minutia involved with caring for my child. On the other side of the beautiful journey of pregnancy, you came out receiving fist bumps and cigars. I got breast pumps and scars. I might need a little more time to get back to my vibrant sexy self...and a tropical vacation might help, too ;) (once I can bear to be away from our baby for a couple of nights).
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